What a Twisted web We Weave
by Orli's Punk
Summary: This is a parody of the book My Life: The Strange and Fantastic by Ali Mcallister.
1. Default Chapter

What a Twisted Web We Weave

By Orli's Punk

Brief description/disclaimer thingy

I don't own any K.P. characters... HOLO, however, _is _mine.

This is a parody of the book My Life: The Strange and Fantastic by Ali McAllister. It's about a girl, HOLO, who is in a punk rock band with Kim, Monique, and two others (Mindy and Lindsay- FYI). They are in high school with Ron and there are a lot of relationship issues here.

The band goes on tour and they are all in each other's faces. Everything is pretty tense between Ron and his friend Ellis as they are fighting over a girl.

(This is just my take on the book, if you've read it and have some ideas let me know.)

Since this is a parody, the K.P. characters play different people so I'll explain that.

HOLO- her real name is Anna, but she hates it, so her friends call her HOLO (short for holo-kim, as she is Kim's best friend and they are a lot alike) she play's the lead guitar in the band and is a major punk rocker.

Kim-plays HOLO's best friend, drummer, a little bit of a Goth-nothing crazy, just a little dark.

Ron-plays the manager of the band, is everyone's friend, and has deeper emotions than real Ron.

Ellis-is the bus driver (yeah!), and is a great songwriter... Kim writes most of the songs, still.

Mindy is the totally awesome keyboard player!

Monique-plays the fashionable (so she's partially in her element) bass player.

Lindsay-is the lead singer, a bit preppy at times, but Kim and HOLO are working on that! ï?S, she goes to a different school.


	2. Practice

- Enter Kim, Mindy and Monique.

Kim-Hey Ron, where's Ellis?

Ron-Oh, I don't know...he's off in a corner writing or something.

Monique- Figures!

--Mindy sits down at her keyboard and plays a few chords while Monique hooks her bass guitar strap around her neck.

Ron (pulling out a clipboard) -Okay, um, we need to run over "Freaked" and "Why" again and then -- wait! Where's HOLO?

--Ellis walks in.

Ellis- Hey guys! HOLO isn't here yet? Well I'm sure she'll be here soon. Anyway, you should probably start without her...class starts in, like, an hour.

Monique- Sorry, dude, but I can't play her stuff! I'm bass, she's lead, and there is a difference! Besides, she didn't leave her guitar here.

Mindy- Yeah, and even if she did, Mo can't play it... We need a bass! I mean, the only people we could use would be either you or Ron and you know how _that_ wouldn't do!

Kim- Ease up, guys- here comes the drama queen now.

--HOLO rushes in with her guitar and music.

HOLO- Mmhrphbt! (She spits out a pick) Sorry I'm late again guys. Mom and dad are gone again, you know and my alarm clock's alarm is completely shot and I...

Kim- No big, HOLO, just hurry up. We've only got 45min. left!

HOLO- Cra, I mean, shoot!

Ron- Alright, I guess you should just play "Why" before we have to leave.

--They play the song well enough to please Ron and hurriedly clean up and head to class.


	3. History first period

Chapter 2

-- In the hallway.

Ron- So Ellis, what was that you were writing while the girls were practicing?

Ellis- ( blushing) Oh, nothing, just some boring stuff.

Ron- It can't be as boring as Murphy's class, man! Was it a song or something?

Ellis- Uh, no it was a, well...

Ron- A what?

Ellis- It was a, a poem about, er, for, um... English! Yeah, it's my English homework!

Ron- (skeptically) Yeah... Right.

--The bell rings.

Ellis- Gotta go, dude!

Ron-Whatever, hippo.

--In class.

--Ron slides into the seat next to Kim, who is next to HOLO. Mr. Murphy (the history teacher) walks over.

Mr. Murphy- The tardy bell just rang, young man.

Ron- (trying to portray innocence) Oh? It did?

Mr. Murphy- Yes.

Ron- Are you sure, because I thought it was...

Mr. Murphy- Positive, and spit out your gum!

Ron- Aw come on, dude, it's the last week of school! Cut me a little slack, will ya?

Mr. Murphy- A dollar or a detention. No slack will be cut for slackers! Improve your grade and then we'll see about some slack.

Ron- (with resignation) Okay, I'll try.

--He hands over a dollar.

Mr. Murphy- Very good.

--During a lull in a discussion on Democrats and World hunger...

Kim- (whispering) Ron, why were you so late? You know how much Murph hates tardiness!

Ron- You mean the Smurph? I was trying to get Ellis to tell me what he was writing in his book during your practice.

Kim- Oh, well, did you find out?

Ron- No, he wouldn't tell me anything... Not the truth anyway. Something is definitely up with him. He's been acting weird ever since Mo found the beginning of that list.

Kim- You mean the "Who I Like" list? Totally! I wish we knew who the last few people on it are! I mean, I don't like to pry, but it would be interesting to see.

Ron- Yeah, I know, but Monique is the only one who...

Mindy- (interrupting) Shh, guys! The question is: What were Farmer's Alliances?

Mr. Murphy- Kimberely?

Kim- Well, they were this group of mad farmers who tried to lower the price to ship their crops and get farmers out of debt and stuff, right?

Mr. Murphy- Why yes, yes they were! Ah, Ronald, would you please answer the second question?

Ron-Um, I, uh, well, the truth is Mr. Murphy, I just can't see the board well enough to read the question.

Mr. Murphy-The question is not on the board; it's in your book!

Ron-Oh, yeah, duh, what was I thinking?

--He slaps the side of his head with his hand.

Mr. Murphy- Obviously that talking to your friend during my class is "no big" as you say.

--Ron and Kim both blush.

Ron-Oh, he he, sorry about that. I needed to get that the homework from Kim because I didn't hear you say it.

Mr. Murphy-That's because I haven't given it out yet.

Ron- Well, there must be some logical explanation for...

--At that moment Tara, a pretty blond girl on the cheer squad with Kim, walks in.

Mr. Murphy- Yes Tara, do you need something?

Tara- Not really, I'm just turning in some extra credit reports.

--She looks past Mr. Murphy at Ron. (She likes to flirt with him) She smiles and he blushes in response.

Mr. Murphy- Well, if that's all you need, you should be getting back to class...(he hasn't caught any of the weird looks she's given Ron)

Tara-Oh, I need to borrow a stapler, too.

--Of course, to get to the stapler she had to walk right past Ron.

Mr. Murphy- Oh, well, of course.

--As She walks by, Tara drops a note on Ron's desk. The note reads:

"Hey Ronny, you are such a loser! Ha ha, just stop bugging me, okay? Love,Tara"

Ron- (sputtering) what, what did I ever do to her?

--HOLO had been reading over his shoulder.

HOLO- Oh, you probably just drooled over her favorite pink shoes while you were worshiping the ground she walks on.

Ron- I do not!

Kim- Aw, come on Ron, we already know how much you like her.

--The bell rrriiinnggss and they all head to second period.

Kim- (sarcastically) It's off to Number Theory we go!

HOLO- Not me, I have Calculus, ugh!

Kim- Don't Ron and Mo have that, too?

HOLO- Yeah, but Mindy and Ellis have Algebra 3.

Kim- That is so weird that we all have math at the same time.

HOLO-Yeah, okay, see you Kimmy! (Kim hates being called Kimmy, so that's what HOLO calls her every once in a while)

--Kim only sticks her tongue out in reply...


	4. We Won!

Hey! Sorry for the lull in updating, I had trouble cutting this next chapter off.

I don't own K.P. etc... (HOLO is mine)

--In class—

-Ron heads for the back table, but HOLO pulls him up to the front. (her fave spot)

Ron- Come on we can't talk here!

HOLO-That's kinda' the point!

-The class goes on uneventfully until...

Teacher- Class, please pass in your homework, problem sets 150-156, Graphing and expanding functions.

-As she turns her homework in, HOLO notices that neither Ron or Monique pass anything in.

HOLO- Not again, guys! You have to start doing your homework. You are so going to fail!

Monique-It's not that bad HOLO, I'll just finish it at lunch.

HOLO- Sure you will.

-She rolls her eyes and turns to face Ron.

HOLO-Alright, buddy, what about you?

Ron- I don't know; do _I_ look like my homework's keeper to you?

HOLO, Monique- Yes.

Ron- Oh, well in that case, I didn't do it. I'll turn it in next class, I promise!

Monique-Yeah, right.

HOLO-That's what you said last time and the time before that and the one befo-

Ron- (interrupting) Alright, alright! Enough! I'll do it at lunch, with Mo. She can help me, right?

Monique- Ha! Nice try! If anyone needs help, it's me!

--Class ends—

Ellis- (stretching) Break! Finally!

Kim- Oh, it's an A day, isn't it?

Ron-Duh!

-Monique comes tearing around a corner clutching her laptop, with Mindy following close behind.

Monique- Hey! Hey, guys!

Ellis- What's up, Mo?

Monique- Well, you know that wacky contest I entered us in, like, two weeks ago? We won it! Our band gets to make an introductory tour and we get a record deal along with it!

HOLO- **Pernicious sick**!

Mindy- (never one to throw caution to the wind) When is all this? Will we still be in school?

Monique- Uh, well, kind of. It's, well, we have to be at the airport by tomorrow.

Kim- Tomorrow! But, but Ellis and I still have a final tomorrow!

Monique-Well, yeah, but I'm sure you could take it at lunch today! I mean this is a one in a lifetime chance! We're actually going to be famous!

Ellis- What about me? I still get to come, right? I don't have to fly the plane, do I?

Monique- (laughing) No! If you fly planes anything like you drive, we would be in big trouble. But you're still coming- see your name's here, too.

Ellis-Hey, I'm not that bad of a driver! I did get my license, unlike someone else I know. (he looks laughingly at Ron)

Ron- Oh, put a sock in it.

HOLO-Dude, we need to check out at the office and get to my garage. We've got to put in tons of practice!

Mindy- Oh, boy, here we go!

Ellis- Shouldn't you call Lindsay?

A day -- They have a block schedule at their school.

pernicious sick -- Just one of my words... Pernicious means wicked, just to let you know.


End file.
